What do we know about quicksand? You stumble into it and never expect it. When you’re in it, the more you panic, wiggle, and try to get out, the more you can sink. Sink far enough and you’re stuck.

Life can be much the same.

You stumble into a moment of chaos and the next thing you know, everything is swirling around you and you feel yourself sinking.

You might lose your path, lose sight of your purpose, or lose sight of what you want to accomplish in life. Suddenly, you’re stuck.

Of course, no one wants to get stuck. We all want to thrive. We all want to live a full life.

What does getting stuck sound like?

• I feel like I’m stuck in a rut.
• Every day I wake up and dread going to work.
• I can’t stand what I do, but I don’t know what else to do.
• I feel like I’m drowning.
• I feel like I’m out of control.
• I feel numb.
• I don’t feel excited or motivated by/about anything.
• I feel unmotivated.
• I feel lost – I don’t know who I am or what I want to do.

What does being stuck feel like?

• You might feel tired or exhausted.
• You might feel a heaviness in your shoulders or back.
• You might feel like your throat is clogged up all the time.

What is being stuck costing you right now?

• The joy of living. Happiness.
• Friendships and connections to others.
• Connection to yourself.
• Success in your career.

Now, not that I want us to look backward – coaching is very much about moving forward – but we do need to take a peek at the past to ensure we don’t keep reliving it.

So how do we end up stuck in the first place?

Let me ask you this – how many times do you put everyone else’s needs before your own? That includes your parents, your children, your family, your friends, and your job.

I understand, you have obligations and life gets too busy. There’s no time for you.

But here’s the truth. You set the standard for how you’re treated. If you don’t make time for yourself, how can you expect others to? How can you expect the Universe/ God/ Source to?

This brings us to, where does this come from?

Bottom line, fear.

Fear of disappointing others. Fear of letting people down. Fear of not meeting expectations. Fear of failure. Fear of change. Fear of being seen. Fear of being an inconvenience. Fear of success.

And when we allow fear to control our lives, we practically jump into the quicksand.

Love, however, is all-encompassing. So, if we can move into a place of doing everything from a place of love, then we can minimize the fear and make new choices.

There are techniques and methods to help get to the bottom of fears, why they’re there, and where they came from so you don’t sink any farther into the quicksand.

Imagine staying here in the quicksand and only ever seeing things from this lower perspective. Not only are you not able to see past the quicksand, but you’re also only focused on surviving.

You can’t see new opportunities. You can’t be the real you. You can’t appreciate and enjoy your family. The little blessings all around you are going unnoticed.

In turn, anyone you’re connected to is also missing out on the real and best parts of you.

And so, it all boils down to choices. Every decision could be a step closer to sinking or a step closer to getting out.

So what can you do about life’s quicksand?

Here’s the thing. It’s important to make the necessary life changes to match the action you’re taking so that as you’re coming out of the quicksand, your environment will support this new way of existing.

Because if you get out of the quicksand and nothing else has changed, you will slide backward until you’re back in the quicksand again. And that’s what we want to prevent.

So let’s look at some action steps you can take…

Step One. Take responsibility for the choices you’ve made.

This is not a shame or blame game and it’s not about looking at anything with regret. It’s about recognizing that these are the choices I’ve made and this is why.

Maybe you left your career to stay at home and raise your kids. You would never regret that, but you may have some emotions to work through.

Maybe you’re a husband who had to be the breadwinner, so you gave up your great passion to ensure your family would be taken care of. Again, you would never regret this, but there could be big feelings around this that need to be addressed.

Step Two. Commit to taking action and making changes.

Be careful what you ask for if you’re not willing to take action for what you truly want. Because life will deliver and you can’t complain about the delivery method.

Sometimes we know we have to make a change but we don’t move – due to fear, indecision, or confusion – and we stay in the quicksand. In these cases, the Universe/ Source/ God/ Creator will choose for us and force a situation.

For example, how many times have you heard somebody repeatedly say they wish they could get a break but they never make it a priority? Next thing you know, they’ve caught a cold (or other illness), gotten into a car accident, or otherwise ended up in a situation that forces them to take a break.

Step Three. Ask for help if you need it.

There’s always the choice to figure everything out yourself.

However, ask yourself – How many self-help books do I have on my shelf? How many inspiring videos have I saved and never looked back at? How many times have I looked at what other people are doing and thought, what is their secret?

In the event that you realize trying to DIY your growth isn’t quite working for you – find a guide to assist you along the way. This might look like working with a coach.
A coach is going to hold you accountable for what you want to achieve.

We’re going to help you dive deep into the “whys” of the choices you’ve made and are making to unblock and unload the fears that have kept you where you are.

We’re going to help you reconnect to YOU.

But most importantly, we’re going to stand on the solid bank next to the quicksand you’re stuck in and guide you – step by step – on how to get out without sinking deeper.

To bring it full circle, it all comes back to the big F word – fear.

Who wants to allow fear to run the show? Fear doesn’t know how to have fun. Fear doesn’t know how to appreciate. Fear doesn’t know how to love.

You deserve a life outside of the quicksand.

The instructions to get out are simple: Stay calm, make some new choices, and reach out for help when you need it.