This is Part 3 of a three-part series, the Three F-Words. These are the three words that can tank your mindset, impact your performance (in your career, hobbies, and life), affect your relationships, and ultimately shape how you show up every day.

We’re wrapping up with the final F-Word – Frustration.

I’m going to cut right to the chase today. Frustration is a catalyst for everything you desire.

Being frustrated is a feeling that comes from the pit of your stomach that builds and builds until it becomes too much to bear.

And when that happens then? You’ve got to release the pressure.

How do you do that? Step one is to pause and take a deep breath.
To let it out, you can explore methods like journaling, meditation, yoga, a walk in nature, or even a rage room if that’s more your cup of tea.

Most importantly, you need to pause. That way you’re not reacting from this place of frustration that can easily cross over into anger. Taking that moment to pause is going to help you remember what it is that’s really going on.

And sometimes the best thing to do is start asking questions after you’ve relieved that initial steam.

Questions like:

• Where is this coming from?
• Why am I feeling so frustrated?
• What is it about this situation that’s causing me to be so frustrated?
• Is it something that is in my control or is it something that is in someone else’s control?
• Why is there a reason for me to be frustrated?
• Is this frustration going to cause something to happen?

That last question is a doozy. Here’s the thing, if you react in frustration, it very well can cause a lot of bad things to happen. This is where we say or do things we don’t mean because our brains react out of flight or fight. This is where we see people act out of character.

On the flip side, frustration can also be good.

Particularly when learning or trying something new, frustration can be the motivation we need to keep trying.

My favorite example of this is a few years ago on a family vacation to the Florida Keys. My husband and I got in ahead of everyone else and decided to drop the boat before the rest of the family arrived so we were ready to hop on the water.

The only problem was it was just the two of us. Usually, our son backs the truck up to the water and my husband handles the boat, but my son hadn’t arrived yet, so it was my time to shine!

How I’d gone that long without ever doing this is beyond me. Anyway, the frustration set in quick. I was frustrated with myself that I was so nervous that I doubted my ability. I’d driven the truck countless times and it turned out to be quite easy.

Frustration set in again when I got back to the hotel and I was determined to park the trailer. I couldn’t do it on the first try. Or the second. Or the third. And so, as frustration was teetering on the line of anger, I stopped and asked myself –

• What’s gonna happen if I try and teach myself?
• What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen?
• Who says I have to get it perfect on the first try?

I took another deep breath and persisted. I nailed it on attempt number four.

When you persevere, you’re going to teach yourself something. Whether it’s more patience, kindness, compassion, a new skill, etc. That perseverance is going to pay off in the end, even if it’s somewhere down the line.

So what do we know? We know that it’s okay to be frustrated, and use that frustration to power through, but it is NOT okay to react from a place of anger.

And to slip from frustration into anger is so easy. Let’s dissect why.

You’ve heard me say it before, in every moment, we can choose to come from love or fear.

And so, when frustration arises, you have a choice to make. You can react from a place of love and take a deep breath and use that frustration to push through. OR you can react from fear and allow bad behaviors to take over.

You get to decide.

How do you make love your dominant reaction? 

You constantly redirect yourself until it is. Ask yourself those questions like:

• What do I need to believe to come from a place of love?
• What do I need to think to come from a place of love?
• Is this something that I can control?
• Is this something that I can change?

In doing so, the frustration disappears. Now you can move forward from love.

If the situation is something you can change, take the next first step in the desired direction. If you can’t change the situation, focus on shifting your response.

Because here’s the thing – there is a lot going on in the world right now. And honestly, none of us can single-handedly change it. However, we can change how we respond to what’s happening.

We can be frustrated at the grocery store, but we can’t speed up the cashiers or open a new checkout lane. We can be frustrated in traffic, but we can’t move the cars out of the way or make an accident disappear.

We can, however, take those moments as signs that we’re supposed to take a pause, take a breath, and remember what’s really important to us.

Are you going to allow frustration to rule your life? Or are you going to practice transmuting that frustration into love?

Every day you have that choice.

If it feels like frustration is constantly blocking you from reaching greatness, advancing in your career, enjoying your relationships, or even just enjoying life, I’d love to dive into that with you and show you the way out. It starts with a free Compatibility Call. Book Here